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i had a great time with tara and i even got to see dave, shawn and bethany. the drive was horrible and long. it was rainy all weekend, like it is everytime i go to indy. but the company was excellent. we made some indian cuisine from a cookbook on saturday night. it was pretty good, if not quite as good as from a restaurant. i made and kneaded real bread! but we didnt make it because the dough had to rise.

so i made it. i was accepted into wycliffe. im not a member until i attend a 2 week training camp in florida. that wont be until the end of june. in the meantime i am working and filling out forms. being accepted has made me realise how i hate that i never have confidence in my abilities. let me explain. i have always thought that although i can do some things well (schoolwork being one) i never think i can do anything extraordinary. applying to college i felt this way. i thought that i could never get into a selective private college. but i did, i was surprised but always passed it off as if i only got in because i applied early. or maybe taylor wasnt even as picky as i thought, it was my misconception. in high school i tried out for district choir and made it. i never expected to, and when i did i thought the same thing-their standards must not be high if i can make it. and now with wycliffe, i was extremely intimidated by the whole application process. it was long and thorough. now that i look back, having made it through, i tell myself, they must be desperate for people. the process must just be to weed out those who are not really going to stick with it. well which is it!? do i just psyche myself out while they are really just desperate, or am i a qualified and desireable employee? i suppose its a bit of both. but i wish i could give myself a more realistic outlook from the beginning. which is better, self-confidence or humility? sometimes i think i have all the humility i need and could do with some good confidence. i hope to gain confidence in myself through God.

accepted!

ive been accepted to wycliffe bible translators, after all that worry. im thankful to finally be sure of something. im still working on admission to GIAL but it looks good. the bimester starts at the end of july. i praying the funds will all come together, with me working and applying for scholarships i should be able to do it.

works going alright and i'll stay as long as i can to earn that last little bit of money. its been a little different, a couple friends at work have been having some hard times. im also being trained on some new stuff while at the same time i am training a new person. its been a bit tiring and stressful. ive been doing some long days in order to leave early tomorrow. leah and i am driving to indiana to see tara. im really looking forward to spending some time with her before she gets married. and it will be nice to see some other friends out there.

im not feeling too good tonite but i hope its just that im tired. instead of staying late today, i went in an hour early. we ate a good dinner at texas roadhouse for my grandpa's birthday. on the way home i bought jars of clay's new cd (excellent as always) and we stopped for icecream. retarded? yes. its 30 degrees outside! but rita's opened this weekend so we had to.

come bowl with me.

i miss bowling class. i once got 5 strikes in a row and i think that is something to brag about. so in the spirit of remembering that fun we had, here's a comic.

bibulous

adj.
means both 'fond of alcoholic beverages' and 'highly absorbent'.

i find this humorous.

how am i not myself?

i heart huckabees is a funny and interesting movie that has some existential philosophies. well, i couldnt tell to what extent it was making fun of all that. but i laughed pretty hard through a lot of it. i loved mark wahlberg's role, he cracked me up. i need to see the big hit again.

some of its comments on people in our society were pretty accurate, and sad. in particular, when tommy (wahlberg) tells his daughter that little girls like her are in sweatshops going blind and being paid only a dollar a month. the scene was comical and its nice that the character cared, a lot of people dont, but this reminds me of some of the people who went to latin america with me. we learned about so many problems and the tragedies that are regular parts of those people's lives and yes we want to change that. but doing things like boycotting products made in those places may not actually help the people. it can hurt them if it puts them out of a job. even if it is a low paying job it is still work.

anyway, huckabees had a neat soundtrack too. jon brion is fun, he also did some music in the eternal sunshine of a spotless mind.

a long day

argh! i cant remember what i wanted to write. i sit there all day at my desk doing my mindless work, thinking about all kinds of interesting and important subjects and when i get home my mind goes blah. its been a long day and i didnt even stay late today.

i spent a couple hours at church with 3 year olds running around and hiding under tables and kicking me. see i normally just assistant teach at pioneer club but tonite the main lady didnt come and didnt tell me about it before hand. i had a little help but somehow nothing went right. i felt very justified in coming home and immediately watching 2 episodes of Sports Night to make me feel better.

and a big BY THE WAY... my very good friend Caellyn sent me a surprisingly wonderful present in the mail =) i was estatic just to hear from her. thank you Caellyn- this is bringing back so many good memories of me and you in center suite with our friends dan and casey. i cant wait to see you again!