well, i think this is my blog thing.

lunes, febrero 28

disorganized.

first of all, thank you to those of you who encouraged me. it really did help =) and what im about to say is not me despairing, im just going to unload my latest complications. but dont worry, im praying a lot about it all.

i am the most unorganized person in the world. sometimes it seems like there are too many things in the world for one brain to think about. i am easily distracted and sorta unresponsible. i hate all the bureaucrazy (haha that was a typo but im leaving it) involved in everything we do in the U.S. maybe that's one of the reasons im so eager to leave. on to a more simple life. i seriously cant handle. not to the point where im going to go jump off a bridge, but my mind is spinning. every time i am applying for some school, or program, or job, or whatever there is this long list of things one must get signed, transferred, completed, etc. i remember specifically applying for my semester in costa rica. i walked back and forth across campus to all of the various offices from which i needed approvals. it took weeks and i remember the wonderful sense of relief just to be done with it all. so anyway, the reason for my rant about this...

ive been casually thinking about starting to apply for the GIAL. i was sort of waiting to find out if i would get accepted into Wycliffe. so while i was waiting, i waited right past the registration date for the GRE. we'll see if this is an answer to prayer (and not just a pain in my rear) as an explicitly closed door. when do you let things just be? i think im going to call them and see if i can be an exception in their application process. who knows, if its a small enough school maybe i can do something as an equivalent to the test. otherwise i will be waiting another school year. i need a life planner-thing but if i had one i wouldnt look at it after writing in it.

on a happy note, we had lots of snow today and i left work early. see, where i live and where i work are different altitudes so when it snows casually down at work, it may be snowing a blizzard (and sticking) at my house. i called home to see how it was and found out the roads weren't too good. i told my boss i was leaving and she looked at the window to see no snow on the roads anywhere, and said ok with one of those looks. i felt a little bad until i started driving up the mountain and slipping and sliding all over the road. i think i left right in time. praise God for safe driving.

viernes, febrero 25

i got a letter!

a couple weeks ago i sent letters and pictures to my friends in honduras. i was gonna do it the slow/unreliable way but i found out another group was going to the same place. so i got them to deliver them for me. then yesterday i got a call from the guy who was in charge and it said he was back in the states and that he'd send me a letter he got in response to mine. it got here today, i guess it doesnt take that long for mail within the same state. i figured with all the snow (i skipped out on work yesterday) i wouldnt get it until monday. that cheered me up some, that and tara and dave being here to visit. i hadnt seen them in a couple months, not since they got engaged. and not since i got back from honduras. i developed all my pictures and got them put in an album this week. its just not the same having only digital pictures. there is something exciting and real about holding developed photos and flipping through them. so ask to see them if any of you ever see me in person!

the snow was nice but i felt guilty all day. i probably could have gone and left early. it snowed all morning but didnt get bad til the afternoon. i hate that i felt guilty, the only person suffering is me because i dont get paid. they didnt really need me to come in. oh well.

im still working on my application to wycliffe. i sent in the bulk of it before i went to honduras. that felt good to be done with it. then i had to take 2 tests, a biblical knowlegde test and a psychological evaluation. i passed at least one of them. now i wait for results and get interviews done over the phone. one of my main obstacles right now is money. i need to figure out if i can come up with enough to pay for an orientation in june (500 bucks) and for a bimester at the GIAL in dallas which starts in july... im really worried about this. will i be able to pay for everything? should i just work another year and then try again? i think i'd have to apply all over again =( i didnt think this out too well. i wish i knew if i were going the right direction, and if its just that my timing is off.
Oh the depth of the riches of the wisdom
and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgements,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?
Romans 11:33-34
i wish i had me some of that wisdom.

martes, febrero 8

radio

this was news to me today when i turned on an old preset station, expecting to hear rock. i was pleasantly surprised because unlike a lot of places in the country, our area didnt have a spanish station until now. tara- no more 99.1 hfs, now its el zol. sweet.

lunes, febrero 7

new pics

i posted some photos at the link labelled so to your right.

more

im frustrated right now. i cant put up the photos on my photos link. i seem to have a limit now that i didnt have before and i cant add a new album. i'll work on it later. i thought pictures might be nice instead of big long paragraphs. here go the paragraphs.

our group was 20 people, all but 5 from my church. there were 10 men and 10 women/girls. so with all that manpower plus 20 some hondurans that we hired, there wasnt a whole lot of building left for me to do. i helped dig a ditch one day but guys kept taking the shovel from me because women arent supposed to work... i put some windows up and unloaded cement blocks from a truck. thats about the extent of my physical labor.

we stayed at a sort of school dorm with a few large rooms with a lot of beds and a kitchen and showers (cold). the work site, mt hebron, was about 20 mins out of la ceiba in the country. two of our older women (one is 84!) stayed at the church building in la ceiba every day to fix dinner for when we got back all hungry. i stayed back 2 days at the beginning of the trip to help them order lunch meat at the grocery store. did i mention i was the only one that knew any bit of spanish? they did pretty well most of the time, but the lunch meat you had to ask for in pounds. i made some peanut butter cookies one of those days too. but the highlight for me was definitely going out to the building site all the other days.

i did a lot of hanging around the community there, trying to talk to the women and kids that just hung around all day. we gave lots of candy to the kids, i hope they dont get cavities because of us. we brought shoes to give them one day and we didnt have enough for everyone. the shoes had rubber bands around them so i gave those to the kids without shoes, and what do ya know they played with those rubber bands for at least an hour! it was so much fun. another day we gave them balloons and later markers and paper. we had a bunch of kids sitting in the church coloring pictures and then making paper airplanes. there were a couple little boys that i really got attached to. they'd bring us flowers and wierd animals like lizards and frogs. we saw some scorpions too. i saw a cock fight, just random roosters fighting in the street. i saw chickens mating =P there was a water tower next to the church that i climbed up on a clear day to get pictures. i was just clinging there on the ladder but next time i want to climb up on top of it.

i also spent a lot of time translating, or trying to. i had a hard time understanding the people. probably for a bunch of reasons, mostly because its been 2 years since i was in central america. also i think they had a funny accent and used some words i didnt know. i had to make them repeat themselves a lot but for the most part i understood. i went along with our guys to the lumber yard and hardware store almost every day to help order materials. i even got to go yell at the block people for not delivering our cement blocks =) it was hard translating construction problems because i didnt understand anything about building in english let alone in spanish. one day they had me trying to ask for a 'flange' which is some piece on a toilet, i had no idea what it was. i had to help order food at restaurants too, so i ate last sometimes. which was fine because it turned out the malaria pills took my appetite away and gave me an upset stomach a lot of the time. so the first week i didnt eat very much, until i figured out that was what it was and stopped taking the pills.

i had a great time getting to know some of the people closer to my age too. during the weekend and the second week i got to talk to alex and walter, two honduran guys that we hired for a couple years in a row now. they know the leaders of our group and were invited to spend the weekend with us. we saw a futbol game, the stadium was across the street from the church in la ceiba, and went to pizza hut and the beach with them. we didnt swim, their sewage goes into the water there. it was interesting to hear some of their views and talk about differences. i miss those guys, i got to talk to them on the phone last monday to let them know we got back alright. im trying to send some pictures too.

one of the disadvantages of being able to translate was having to hear everyone's pleas for money, material or whatever help we could give. it was really depressing hearing everyone ask us for help. and there are so many needs in honduras, life is rough. people needed money for operations, school tuition, and repairs to homes. one old man was very sick and needed a ride to the hospital and medicine. all i could understand was that he was 'gravely' ill, i didnt know what was wrong. we helped him and then i found out when walter and alex called that he died the day we left, about a week later. i wished a lot of times that we could have done more. and you also need discernment about what needs are legitimate and who is lying to you.

so stan, you asked what i brought back. i brought some limpiras, the honduran currency, a keychain for my little sister's b-day, some salsa and a big bottle of vainilla (which they say is expensive in the states and was about a dollar over there). we had a few chances to get some souvenirs but my heart wasnt into. for one thing i have seen a lot of what they had- i went to markets in guatemala and nicaragua which both border honduras. they did have some beautiful things but i think i mostly gave away money to people who needed. i didnt feel right spending it on myself and ive already got similar things for my family and friends. mostly i just brought photos and memories which i think are worth much more.

building houses

ok, sorry for keeping you in suspense about my wonderful trip. i have had almost no time to write. well, i did spend an hour or so playing metroid prime 2 but i hadnt done that since 2 weeks before i left!

so you're probably wondering 'what did you do for 2 whole weeks in honduras?' the purpose of the mission trip was to build houses for the people there. the whole north part of the country is still rebuilding from hurricane mitch, which destroyed their infrustructure 8 years ago. our church purchased about a hundred or so little lots of land to build houses for retired pastors and their families. because the way the church works there, these pastors retired with no place to live. i think there are about 20 completed houses. in addition to pastors living there, there are (what were-seeing as now they have a place to live at least) some of the poorest families from la ceiba and the surrounding area. while we were there we started 5 houses, finishing 2 completely and getting 2 others to where they just needed a roof, doors and plumbing. the houses are very small and primitive to us, but better than what the people were coming from. they are cement block houses, 16'X20' with a bathroom sticking off the back and they have tin roofs. but they are stable and have real toilets and showers.

to be continued...

miércoles, febrero 2

im back

we got home late sunday night. ive been back about 2 and a half days already. there are a few things i really didnt expect upon coming home. the biggest is just how much i miss honduras already. its like a huge hole has been ripped in my chest. i got to know some great people there and it was so hard to leave them behind. another surprising thing, how willing i would be to leave behind this cold and snow if i could. it was a big shock to step off the plane to where i could see my breath again. give me that sun adn 80 degree weather any day now.

im at work, i got more to say than this.