it's either sadness or euphoria

im still a bum. but a happier bum. i really need to get myself up in the mornings so i can be productive with... i dont know what, but something. it is nice to have friends nearby though. i dont know if i would quite call it euphoria, but at least im having some fun. i got to watch the return of the king and have some good food at my friend's house. and i havent seen a cuter dog in a long time.

so my routine each night is pretty much watch movies/whatever until late. then talk on aim to whichever friend might be around. then look at the clock and realize how freakin late it is. then decide that now woudl be a good time to read. read at 3 am?! im either stupid or ingenious. its sad because i have so many things i want to read but i dont take the time to do it. in the school year, i had the excuse that i have too much school reading to take the time for leisure reading. now, im just too lazy to read. thats right. too lazy to sit in a chair and read for hours. whats wrong with me? i also tend to start books and not finish them. luckily these books that i start are books that i have already read. so lets put it all together: im someone who doesnt take time to read what she really wants to read, ends up waiting until late to start, and then only rereads books.

wanna know what books ive started recently? there's... the return of the king (3rd time?), mossflower (2nd time), hitchhikers guide to the galaxy (not technically 2nd time yet but im rereading most of it to get to the part i didtn finish), and ruthless trust (1st time).

i think i'll make one more reference to the post title. this is like my life. one day im so content and happy, next day im a poor, brooding moron. i admit that ive learned the latter type of day normally stems from my selfish reflections on my life and how it coudl be better for me. im ashamed of this, and any of you ever catches me doing this, feel free to stop me and smack me aroudn a little bit. sometimes we all need a little perspective, to be reminded of what we have and where we live and how this is nothign to complain about. i think personally i need to sit and think about life more often. to stop doing things and just think. thats a hard thing for me because my mind is always wandering and worrying. i like to actively, not constructively, waste my time. this you can see from this blog that no one in their right mind should be reading.

buenos noches.



neat.